This is part two of Beyond The Magic. The purpose of the Beyond The Magic storytelling project is to highlight the full experiences and humanity of Black women; beyond our magic and beyond the expectations of others. Interested in contributing to this project? Let’s connect!

Meet Anita!

How do you define Black Girl Magic?

It is the essence of who we are; it flows through our joints and muscles, it welcomes others into our soul, and makes us magnetic.

How do you define Black Excellence?

It is our tenacious and indelible spirit that makes us leaders and innovators. It is the standard to which others desire to be but our resilience has given us the power to achieve it.

Describe a time when you felt the need to shrink yourself or code-switch to mentally or physically survive.

When I first started working at my old job. I was the only Black woman in the department and many times, I was left out of conversations or ignored. I became timid and afraid to speak up in order to not draw attention to myself. This in turn caused me to be extremely unhappy and I left the job last month because I was unable to be myself.

What does it look like to hold space for grief?

I allow myself to feel and not be afraid of those emotions. I have a tendency to rest in those feelings so sometimes I have to shift my thoughts so as to not let them settle on me too long.

What does it look like to hold space for joy?

I welcome opportunities to be excited and happy for the events in my life. I gather (via FaceTime, Zoom, etc) with friends and discuss the good times we have. I also sing, write poetry, and re-watch my favorite movies. I make time to do those things that make me joyful.

Pause and think about all the stereotypes, expectations, or assumptions placed on Black women. What do you want to say to counter those stereotypes/expectations/assumptions? What's your truth?

I think we are grossly misunderstood. Many times, what is perceived as anger comes from pain and judgment from others. When people say we are not submissive, it comes from being in a relationship where it was not a partnership but more of an expectation that we carry all the burdens (financial, spiritual, emotional, etc.). When we are judged for having an attitude, we were not assertive enough in certain circumstances and now we are unabashed in speaking up for ourselves.

"I am home when..."

I feel comfortable to be myself without judgement. We are all flawed creatures but when I am constantly criticized for who I am, it is hard for me to feel comfortable.

"Justice is..."

Making people accountable for their prejudice, racist, sexist, and ageist beliefs, especially when those ideologies play in the demise of a person.

"Love is..."

Feel free in who you are and what you believe in.

What words of wisdom would you give to your childhood self?

I would say travel the world and date a lot. Do not be afraid to be alone and be uncomfortable; that is when growth and change occurs.

What words of wisdom do you think your childhood self would give to you now?

Do not think you have to be serious all the time. It is okay to mess up as long as you learn from your mistakes.

What songs do you have on rotation now? Why?

“A Girl Like Me” and “Pick Up Your Feelings” by Jazmine Sullivan. Jazmine's songs ALWAYS speak to me but those two in particular because of things that I went through in my marriage and how I grew from that experience after our separation and divorce.