This is part ten and the final contribution of Beyond The Magic. The purpose of the Beyond The Magic storytelling project is to highlight the full experiences and humanity of Black women; beyond our magic and beyond the expectations of others.

How do you define Black Girl Magic?

Black Girl Magic is rooted in Black joy. It's our ability to be creative, nurture friendships and families, create businesses, and fight for liberation & healing despite our experiences. And if Black Girl Magic exists despite all of that, think of how much more we could shine beyond our trauma or having to be resilient.

How do you define Black Excellence?

I define Black Excellence in the regular. In the media, #BlackExcellence is usually equated with degrees or taking leadership positions within companies or organizations that weren't originally designed with us in mind. These things are good and commendable; being part of a small percentage of Black folks in law, therapy, physics, technology, and other sciences is a GOOD thing. But that is not the only thing that should be deemed "excellent." Black excellence cannot only be confined to the middle-class or elite.

"Excellence" means value, worth, and ability. So as long as we wake up with purpose in our lungs, we are "Black excellence." Whether we're laughing, trying out a new recipe, chatting with our neighbors, praying, planning a house party, playing spades (or learning), or simply breathing. Whenever we get to live another moment with even an ounce of joy, given our history in this country, THAT IS EXCELLENT.

What does it look like to hold space for grief?

When I think about holding space for grief or lamenting, I have to remind myself that there are numerous Psalms in the Bible that aren't about praise; many are somber and loaded with grief and there is an entire book in the Bible dedicated to lamenting. Expressing grief is normal. It doesn't make me weak or less of a Christian, and doesn't mean I don't hold a space for joy or hope at the same time. Holding space for grief means I'm present and empathetic to the realities of life. Even Jesus wept.

What does it look like to hold space for joy?

Much like grief, holding space for joy doesn't mean I'm apathetic or ignorant of pain, trauma, or crisis. Joy is rooted in assurance and faith. Holding space for joy means I can rest assured something better is coming. Joy, I've learned, is a posture of living, not just momentary happiness. Authentic joy can exist even during chaos.

Pause and think about all the stereotypes, expectations, or assumptions placed on Black women. What do you want to say to counter those stereotypes/expectations/assumptions? What's your truth?

Not all of us know how to lay our edges. This may be random, but I'm really not that great with a toothbrush and gel. When Beyoncé said “forget them laid edges, I’ma let ‘em shrivel up,” I felt that in my soul. It was truly liberating.

On a serious note, we aren't strong all the time. Some of us, or I'll just speak for myself, are tired. Like, I just want to lay in bed some days and not be expected to save the country through my votes or leadership in advocacy or transforming the culture creatively. Are we still doing those things? Yes. But damn, sometimes I enjoy lounging on the couch, putting a fake fireplace on YouTube, lighting candles, pouring a glass of red wine, and getting lost in a book. Or, that same setting and sitting at and playing piano until I get tired. I wish we were afforded the opportunity to just be regular.

"I am home when..."

I am home when my shoulders are relaxed and my jaw isn't clenched. When music and creativity reverberate throughout the space. When authenticity is second nature and I don't have to hide.

"Justice is..."

Justice is not cheap. It comes at a hefty price, and includes humility, repentance, and retribution from the person or persons who inflicted harm.

"Love is..."

Love is a selfless action.

What words of wisdom would you give to your childhood self?

Keep being weird, kid. You may feel like you don't belong in one place or group, and that's okay. There's a purpose, there's a promise, and though you're not aware of it now, it will make sense. Don't conform, just be your weird Black self.

What words of wisdom do you think your childhood self would give to you now?

I think you should make even more time for creativity. Clearly it makes us happy.

Describe the main theme in a sitcom or movie about your life.

It would be a dramedy highlighting all the thoughts in my head. I'm a writer, I'm a pretty outspoken truth teller, and I step on people's toes, but there is so, so much that goes unsaid. If my Twitter drafts could speak...

What songs do you have on rotation now? Why?

I have mood playlists in rotation and couldn't possibly list all the artists, but the playlists on repeat include:

Chill Worship Vibes
Indie/Acoustic lounge music
LoFi beats
Whatever genre this newer R&B is called (Ari Lennox, Xavier Omar, Anaiis, Alex Isley, Louis York, Lianne La Havas, etc.)
Jazz from the 40s-60s is always a vibe (Miles Davis, Hazel Scott, John Coltrane, etc.)

These get me through the workday and help me unwind. Music keeps my blood pressure low.

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