This is part eight of Beyond The Magic. The purpose of the Beyond The Magic storytelling project is to highlight the full experiences and humanity of Black women; beyond our magic and beyond the expectations of others. Interested in contributing to this project? Let’s connect!

How do you define Black Girl Magic?

In some ways I think of it as resilience. I want to define it for myself as being fully embodied in my liberation.

How do you define "Black Excellence" ?

Us existing and minding our business

Describe a time when you felt the need to shrink yourself or code-switch to mentally or physically survive.

In a lot of the social work/non-profit jobs I held I felt the need to protect so much of my energy. When I shared and showed all my skills and talents, it felt like they would take as much as they could and who cares what I'm left with. That protectiveness of my energy turned into a barrier. I was resentful and not fully showing up. It's a main reason why I left the field and my career as a social worker.

What does it look like to hold space for grief?

It looks not judging the amount of grief I have and minimizing it. Really challenging the idea of "what do you have to cry for?" So much. And some little things, and that's okay too.

What does it look like to hold space for joy?

Remembering that my liberation journey involves centering myself and my joy. It's my responsibility to access and find joy for myself.

Pause and think about all the stereotypes, expectations, or assumptions placed on Black women. What do you want to say to counter those stereotypes/expectations/assumptions? What's your truth?

I'm the expert of what it means to be me. Other Black women are the experts of what it means to be themselves. Trust me when I say you (over-culture, white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism) don't know me better than me.

"I am home when..."

I can fully show up with ease and be seen without judgement.

"Justice is..."

Liberation

"Love is..."

Where a lot of healing can begin. Letting people love you and support you gives you a lot of insight into what you need and want in your life.

What words of wisdom would you give to your childhood self?

All the things you hid, were criticized about, and hated about yourself are your gifts, and one day you'll share your gifts and be seen and acknowledged properly for them. You'll still feel doubt every now and again, but you'll have a lot more self trust and support that keeps you going.

What words of wisdom do you think your childhood self would give to you now?

Keep going! This whole life we're building can be very surreal and scary at times, but this is what we want.

What songs do you have on rotation now?

So many lol but as of right now I have The Other Side by Jazmine Sullivan and Magic Hour by Jhene Aiko on repeat. The Other Side because on each of Jazmine Sullivan's albums she has some kind of ballad about success (Dream Big, Famous) and I love them all. Magic Hour because I love the instrumentals and Jhene's vocals.